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Tag: Life

Imposter Syndrome

Internet is a good thing: it allows us to see and experience things that were not possible decades ago. On the other hand, it’s sometimes also overwhelming. When I see capable people doing amazing stuff on the Internet, very often I feel I’m not worth of what people think I am. Occasionally I thought it’s because I’m shy and I’m usually not comfortable fully expressing my thoughts. In other occasions I’m simply not patiently enough to argue otherwise.

But it’s not just me. A lot of people are experiencing the same feeling and I’m starting to realize that I may be suffering from the imposter syndrome. After all, after so many years my personality has changed a lot. I’m no longer shy. I’m much more confident than I was. And I’m also a more capable person so I deserve a better life. It doesn’t feel right to be satisfied with what I’m getting. I’m better than that!

Meeting with people confirms that. There are a lot of people pretending to be expert in something and it seems they are enjoying quite a lot, although I can spot right on that they’re not what they believe they are. They’re not ashamed, why should I feel bad for myself? I’m much better a person than those real imposters, of course I deserve better things!

It’s more than a year since I wrote a blog post last time. A lot has happened during the past year. After years of depressing research career, I’ve published in a good conference and successfully defended my PhD. I’ve started working (again) in the industry. I’ve also found a long term direction that should keep me busy in the next five years. We’ve also got our foothold in Luxembourg, although there remains a lot to complete, it’s a good starting point. I’ll try to blog more often about what’s happening in my life, just to keep track of my thoughts and experiences, so that I can look back to them later and say “boy, I didn’t know I was so naïve a while ago.”

I’ve also updated my blog theme and fixed the HTTPS issue with WordPress and Cloudflare: I only needed to install the CloudFlare Flexible SSL plugin and enable “Automatic HTTPS Rewrites” on Cloudflare. Now the website feels more responsive and neater. That’s a good starting point to (re)start blogging!

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Luxembourg at first glance

Now it’s been two weeks since I arrived at Luxembourg. In general the experience has been positive, except that it’s been raining for a consecutive of ten days and snowing for the rest days. It’s a bit humid, but not to the extend that I should complain. At least the air is free of smoke and particles.

It’s quite where I live, although it’s just fifteen minutes walk to the old town as well as the railway station. Almost everything is in walking distance, supermarkets, banks, hospitals, schools, government offices,Asian markets. There’s also a police school just 200 meters away. I suppose it’s a safe neighborhood.

Work is also nice, though one has to be self-motivated. Coworkers are extremely nice, but many of them prefer speaking French, which I believe is good for me since I’d like to pick up the language. I already applied for a university language course. There’s also opportunities to meet great minds. This morning there was a distinguished lecture, where one professor talked about privacy in internet using big data.

The startup business is going slowly but according to the plan. Office isn’t too far away and fits our purpose. Orders for office computers are placed this evening and we can start the real work shortly. It’s good to have someone supporting the business, with both funding and experience.

One thing brothers me is that the washing machine is broken and it’s talking forever to fix it. The agent promises anything but I’ve now learned to be wiser and not to believe her words.

Life is much easier when you have someone helping you out. For that I’m extremely grateful for the help I received from my friend.

And I miss my girlfriend. It’s a journey we’ve chosen together, and there has to be temporary sacrifices for a better tomorrow. So for now just follow what we’ve planned. I believe we’re heading for the better.

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Beautiful world

Now we are starting to have positive temperatures here. The weather is just gorgeous everyday. The breeze is fresh; the sky is clear; the sun is shining. You feel warm inside out. You can clearly see how people are smiling: their brows flying upward and eyes narrowed — that’s how you smile under the sunshine, isn’t it? You could even see reflection of bright teeth once in a while. It’s just as cozy
as one could possibly imagine.

The snow starts to melt but the roads are still slippery and reflexive. Even so it doesn’t stop people coming out doing exercises and enjoying life. All kinds of people, old or young, chubby or skinny, are jogging or doing Nordic walking in tights. Though at times you can notice white steam coming out of people’s mouths, it doesn’t make you feel chilly. Instead you get a burning feeling as if you have joint them doing exercises; it’s like
there’s a flow of energy inside you trying very hard to burst out.

The French guy across the corridor has already started wearing shorts. The first thing he said when he saw me was: “Its hot!” As a matter of fact, it is, since inside the office it was around 30 degrees. And as the sunshine flows inside, you feel it’s already summer time.

I opened the window, fresh air pours in. Closing my eyes, I could feel the cool air moving from my cheek to the neck. It’s just

All of a sudden you hear birds singing; they are not owls; it’s like canaries’ chirps up from paradise. I looked out trying to figure out where the little spirits were, but with no success. Maybe they are in paradise; you never know. I’ll just leave them alone, enjoying their divine melodies with a grateful heart.

What a wonderful world. 

P.S. I have to admit it’s damn hard to write a descriptive essay; this is the best I could come up
with right now.

P.S.2. I love Louis Armstrong’s “What a wonderful world”.

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